and in conclusion...

this i think will make the fourth post about why i am in seminary. i was picturing havng this grand ending with a really profound paragraph or two. but now that i have given the back story of how got where i am... thats all there is to say... where i am..
i don't have all of the answers. i can think of 100 other people that i know who are better public speakers, many more who are smarter and better thinkers. being in seminary doesn't magically grant you a road map and manual of how to be an effective communicator of the gospel. all i know is that god has placed in me a desire to spread to others what he has been teaching me about himself and his word. i don't have a gimmick, no dynamic personality to keep " 'em coming back for more". i just have the gospel. and i want to share it.
i dont really have an angle, but if i did, it would be that i want to be used to speak to those who are already in church, and have grown up in church like i have. i want to be used by the lord to teach people how to study and apply the word, not just read it and hear it. to discover the wonderful and glorious truths that apply to us as believers everyday. i long to share with people of how the gospel should penetrate every aspect of our life, and that what we do wrong, a lot of times, is compartmentalize our lives to the point where we actually think there are things in our lives that are religiously "neutral", or have nothing to do with our faith.
to share with people the stunning glory of our lord, the paralyzing holy fear of him, and the precious delight of obedience to him, that is what i want to spend my life doing. to teach doctrine and theology and church history in ways that are *not* watered down, but are communicated so that our churches will be filled with people who know exactly what they believe, and why they believe it.
i grow more and more aware every day of my inadequacy for any of this. if the lord uses me for anything besides fertilizer, it will be another act of grace in a lifetime of unmerited favor. Psalm 127 :1,2 says unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. it is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
unless the lord has called me into ministry, i will fail. his word will not return void, but if i place myself into a ministry position that he did not place me in, i will be in disobedience, and any good coming from that will be an act of grace.

i long to be obedient. and i feel that god has placed in me these desires. so that is why i am in seminary.

-stephen