the lowercase has moved!

i first started a blog in the summer of 2005 during one of my recurring bouts of insomnia.

3 years, 200 posts, and over 20,000 visits later, i have moved from blogger.com over to wordpress.
for various reasons, all of which i am sure you do not care about, i think this will be a better fit.

so please change any bookmarks, feeds, links, etc. to reflect the new address:http://www.thelowercase.wordpress.com/

back (again)

i try not to post too much "personal information" on this blog, but i hope you dont mind this time...

as most of you know, i had a second back surgery in october of last year. (the first was in 1999).
since the surgery, things have gone extremely well. i completed a 6 week physical therapy effort and was released by them and then by my surgeon. (this was by the end of feb./first of march).

again, all has been well up until about a week ago. for the past week i have been feeling pain and discomfort in my lower back and some pain in my right leg. i think this is due to reaching over charlie's crib and picking him up while he was sleeping 6 times in one night (that is an even longer and traumatic story...just know that i had to.. didnt want to).

since then the pain has been growing in intensity and in the area affected.

after the surgery, the neurosurgeon was very confident that he had completey cleaned up the problem area in my lower back. so this leads me to believe that my current pain is due to a combination of things leading to the irritating of the nerve root that had received so much damage prior to surgery. because i have been mostly inactive since last july (when my back first went out) the added weight i have put on is causing too much stress on my lower back and bending over to get charlie so many times in one night caused the muscles to get weak, therefore causing any movements sense to irritate that nerve root. add to this the many, many hours i spend sitting in class, studying, and while at work, there is little "relief" for my lower back.

the chaos it puts me and my family in when my back goes out (missing work, school, preaching and other responsibilities at church [and the resulting loss of income]and my being unable to help with charlie) makes us cringe to even think that this current flare up may be indicative of anything worse to come.

i would like to ask all of you to join with me and christi in focused, concentrated prayer that the lord would heal and completely restore my back. i know that he is able. i also know that the lord uses prayer to accomplish his means.
(james 5:13-16; psalm 40:1; romans 8:26- 28).

i know each of you have a lot going on in your lives, so i do not think lightly of asking you to commit to this. i know that the lord is in control of this situation, and it is my prayer that he will use your prayers to heal my back and to bring glory to himself.

thank you all so much,
-stephen

i'll be "back"

well its official...
i am having back surgery this coming tuesday, oct. 16th.

ill be unable to sit for awhile, and as my laptop is less reliable than my old atari, i will be unable to be around these parts for a while.

but, i don't want anyone reading to abandon this place altogether, so please feel free to look through the archives. there are plenty of topics and posts from the past two years and comments can be made on any post, old or new.

since i wont be doing much beyond laying in bed for awhile, i hope to do quite a bit of reading. so in that spirit, may i recommend two books to you.

the first is mark dever's newest one the gospel and personal evangelism
this book just came out in the past few weeks or so. i picked up today and read about the first 40 pages in less than an hour. it reads quickly and is a pretty short book.
in it, dever discusses how to, why we don't evangelize and what is, and what isn't evangelism.
it is a very helpful book and very practical. for less than $10, i "commend" it to you.

the second is a daily devotional book. it is divided into over 100 daily meditations. they are kind of like "brain starters" for the day. i have come to it many times and use it often when i need to spend time with the lord in prayer, but don't know where to start. it also makes a good small group discussion starter.
the book is taste and see: savoring the supremacy of god in all of life , and the author is john piper.

i hope everyone enjoys a blessed month or so ahead, and that the passion for jesus christ will so consume your heart and mine, that the gospel will spread everywhere we go.

rest...

i have received emails inquiring about my lack of posting recently. there are several answers to the question, so i thought i would answer them all at once.

#1- i have a 10 week old baby boy....enough said

#2 - this summer i took a class that required over 1,500 pages of reading in addition to a lengthy position paper that has consumed the bulk of any free time i have had since may.

#3 - i had to finish another writing assignment for a lifeway publication

#4 - i have degenerative disc disease. i had surgery in 1999, and from time to time have flare ups. for the first couple of weeks of july i was in bed due to a major flare up in the form of a herniated disc that was/is rubbing against nerve endings in my spine that cause burning and numbness in my leg. i start 12 weeks of physical therapy tomorrow. i would appreciate your prayers that the lord would see fit to heal me totally so that i may return to a "normal" lifestyle, despite my undeservingness.

i appreciate all of the emails and other contacts i regularly receive because of this blog. what began as an attempt to cure a bout with insomnia has become a regular part of my life. though i rarely (if ever) have any original thoughts, i am amazed that so many people read this blog. since july of last year, this blog has been visited over 7,500 times and from all across the globe. (some of these were surely lost travelers on the information superhighway!) it is a humble reminder to me that if i am to speak with confidence, to speak the truths of god's word. i am sure i may have failed at times, but i pray that my intentions are always to honor the lord with the content of this blog.

my final year of seminary begins one week from today. i will be taking the rest of this week off in order to just rest and continue to recover from this back injury. lord willing, i am also being ordained in two weeks (assuming that i pass my ordination council this week!), so i need to study and prepare for that as well.

that said, i do intend to begin posting regularly soon. in 2005 (starting in june) i posted only 24 times. last year, 36 times. already this year i am over 50. i have no number that i am shooting for, but it has been a good exercise for ordering my thoughts and thinking through certain issues. thank you for thinking through them with me. please continue to send feedback. i get quite a bit through email, but please feel free to leave a comment on the blog itself.

since i will be taking an intentional break from posting for the next week, i wanted to leave you with some links of blogs that i have found to be very informative without feeling like i am doing homework.

justin taylor

desiring god

al mohler

enjoy these sites, and i hope that you will return here in a week or so. in the meantime, i ask that you pray for my back, as well that colossians 1:9-10 would be true in my life as i strive to be a better follower of christ, and a better husband, father, pastor, teacher, writer, and friend.

in christ alone,
stephen

the new addition...

9lbs. 14 oz. 22 inches long.

everyone is doing well

thanks for your prayers... keep 'em coming.. particularly if you are awake at 4a.m.!

are we indispensable?

this past weekend, i accepted a call as the pastor of a church just north of louisville. for the last several days i have been thinking and planning for the coming work at our new church home.
as the accompanying ambition that come with such thoughts began to grow, i came across this quote:

...the christian must never for one moment imagine himself to be
indispensable to god, or allow himself to behave as if he were.
the god who sent him, and is pleased to work with him, can
do without him.-j.i. packer

to follow that quote with another,
" ...for the sake of the world, i thank the lord that
the truth's not contingent on me."
- derek webb, "the truth"

praise be to our god, who is self-sustaining and self-sufficient. how mysteriously wonderful that he chooses to use broken vessels to further his kingdom.

i repent...

i am in seminary preparing to be a pastor in part, because the lord used a friendship with derek webb to open my eyes to the richness of scripture and the beauty of its truth.

derek webb is a singer/songwriter who is drawing many comparisons, from christian and secular media alike, to bob dylan and other folk singers of past generations who became “spokespersons” for and against ideas and concepts of their time. formerly a lead singer, guitarist, and songwriter for the band “caedmon’s call”, derek launched a solo career in 2003 and has released four albums to date, with another coming in may of this year.

i first met derek after a caedmon’s call concert in 2000. we spent about thirty minutes talking about various topics ranging from music, haunted schools in memphis, growing up in tennessee, and other random things.

after that meeting, we were able to talk a few more times over the years. he was always gracious even remembering my name each time we met.

through conversations with derek and through his music, other writings, and various media related to him, the lord brought to me to a place of intense self – examination which led to a fierce desire growing inside of me to study the bible, doctrine, and church history.

this time of my life also coincided with my brief stint in music as a profession, (recounted here)and i was able to be the opening act for derek a couple of times. backstage we picked up where we had left off on some old conversations.

i hang on to those memories because they are reminders to me of how the lord worked in such odd circumstances with results that changing my life. if i had been told earlier in life that i would be a pastor, i would have never guessed it would by way of being a musician and the opportunities and encounters that would come with that.

i say all of that to preface my next several posts. i will be taking some of derek’s songs, both older and more recent, and exploring the lyrics. i want to make the disclaimer that i do not, myself, nor do i recommend that anyone get their religious beliefs from fallible people or their music. but i do believe that music can open our eyes to concepts and ideas that in turn push us to find out “if these things be so”.

like the bereans in acts 17, derek’s words have pushed me to scripture over and over again. a lot of the time i have come away agreeing with the message of his music. there are some ideas that i either do not agree with, am not in complete agreement with, or am still sorting out what i think, but i will focus on a handful of the many songs derek has written that have forced me to scripture, and proved themselves trustworthy.

the first song i want to share is called “i repent” from the album i see things upside down.

i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dream
i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything
of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
in our suburb where we're safe and white

i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent, i repent of parading my liberty
i repent. i repent of paying for what i get for free
and for the way i believe that i am living right
by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep
of wearing righteousness like a disguise
to see through the planks in my own eyes

i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity
i repent, i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
by caring more of what they think than what i
know of what we need
by domesticating you until you look just like me

i am wrong and of these things i repent.

this song can easily move me to tears. it is so true of my own life. confusing what i have with what i deserve. patriotism with christian faithfulness. knowledge of my liberties with prestige. trying so hard to earn god's favor despite saying i know it is only by grace through faith in christ.
having small sins that no one sees and thinking i am better than those whose sins are more public. by making god in my own image so i can rationalize my actions and live a "safer" life.
of keeping silent when the truth is betrayed just to keep the peace and perhaps gain a bit of realestate in society. of caring more of what people think about me than about the eternal state of their soul.

our actions betray what we really think, more than what we say we believe.
how often do we repent of what is in our hearts. the pride, the arrogance, the intentional ignorance, the tendancy of self-preservation at the expense of the glory of christ.

we are too often lacking in self-examinanation and more so in acknowledging sin in our lives and saying " i am wrong and of these things i repent"

lower case cavness

i try and keep this blog from being a personal journal ("not that there's anything wrong with that!") , but i wanted to share that i found out today that christi and i will be having a son.

charles allen cavness ("charlie") is due in 18 weeks.

thanks for all of your prayers, please continue!

-stephen

we have everything when we have nothing

christi and i had a doctor visit yesterday, and in less than 7 months, (around may 25), we are going to be parents. need less to say, we are very excited and are looking forward to the coming months, as well as the coming years.
we had a miscarriage in the spring, and since that time, the lord sustained us and increased our faith in him and his care. now he has blessed us with this great news.

the lord is indeed faithful, but not because he has given us a child. he would be faithful if we were never able to have children of our own. he is faithful in that he promises to bring to himself all of his children, and to never leave them or forsake them. he is gracious in that he has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. he has given us the gift of his son.

so may we never dare suggest that he has not given us everything if he doesnt give us our every want. our knowledge is limited, our desires our shortsighted, and often tainted with sin. but our lord is holy, and all knowing, and good. he gives us himself, and in him, we have everything.

we praise him for this pregnancy and pray that he will give christi a safe and trouble free pregnancy and delivery, that our child will be born whole and without complication, and grow up strong and in the lord. but we pray more that we would daily be satisfied in him, so that if all else were to fall away, we would still stand firm and proclaim that we have everything in christ.

an epilouge of sorts...

after four posts of why i am in seminary, i thought that it would be appropriate to have a post about where i stand foundationally on the basic matters of the faith. what is below is copied from two websites over to the left in my favorite links section; the alliance of confessing evangelicals, and "non negotiable beliefs" (abstract of principles). it will be a longer read than usual, but i encourage you to read through them and think about how thorough our faith is. if someone came to you, and asked you what you believe and what it all means, would you know enough about your own faith to be convincing?

The Abstract of Principles
When the original charter of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was adopted in 1858 it contained the following statement which continues as a part of the "fundamental laws." "Every professor of the institution shall be a member of a regular Baptist Church; and all persons accepting professorships in this Seminary shall be considered, by such acceptance, as engaging to teach in accordance with, and not contrary to, the Abstract of Principles hereinafter laid down, a departure from which principles on his part shall be grounds for his resignation or removal by the Trustees."

I. The Scriptures.
The Scriptures of the Old and New Testament were given by inspiration of God, and are the only sufficient, certain and authoritative rule of all saving knowledge, faith and obedience.
II. God.
There is but one God, the Maker, Preserver and Ruler of all things, having in and of himself, all perfections, and being infinite in them all; and to Him all creatures owe the highest love, reverence and obedience.
III. The Trinity.
God is revealed to us as Father, Son and Holy Spirit each with distinct personal attributes, but without division of nature, essence or being.
IV. Providence.
God from eternity, decrees or permits all things that come to pass, and perpetually upholds, directs and governs all creatures and all events; yet so as not to destroy the free will and responsibility of intelligent creatures.
V. Election.
Election is God's eternal choice of some persons unto everlasting life -- not because of foreseen merit in them, but of his mere mercy in Christ -- in consequence of which choice they are called, justified and glorified.
VI. The Fall of Man.
God originally created man in His own image, and free from sin; but, through the temptation of Satan, he transgressed the command of God, and fell from his original holiness and righteousness; whereby his posterity inherit a nature corrupt and wholly opposed to God and His law, are under condemnation, and as soon as they are capable of moral action, become actual transgressors.
VII. The Mediator.
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, is the divinely appointed mediator between God and man. Having taken upon Himself human nature, yet without sin, He perfectly fulfilled the Law, suffered and died upon the cross for the salvation of sinners. He was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended to His Father, at whose hand He ever liveth to make intercession for His people. He is the only Mediator, the Prophet, Priest and King of the Church, and Sovereign of the Universe.
VIII. Regeneration.
Regeneration is a change of heart, wrought by the Holy Spirit, who quickeneth the dead in trespasses and sins enlightening their minds spiritually and savingly to understand the Word of God, and renewing their whole nature, so that they love and practice holiness. It is a work of God's free and special grace alone.
IX. Repentance.
Repentance is an evangelical grace, wherein a person being, by the Holy Spirit, made sensible of the manifold evil of his sin, humbleth himself for it, with godly sorrow, detestation of it, and self-abhorrence, with a purpose and endeavor to walk before God so as to please Him in all things.
X. Faith.
Saving faith is the belief, on God's authority, of whatsoever is revealed in His Word concerning Christ; accepting and resting upon Him alone for justification and eternal life. It is wrought in the heart by the Holy Spirit, and is accompanied by all other saving graces, and leads to a life of holiness.
XI. Justification.
Justification is God's gracious and full acquittal of sinners, who believe in Christ, from all sin, through the satisfaction that Christ has made; not for anything wrought in them or done by them; but on account of the obedience and satisfaction of Christ, they receiving and resting on Him and His righteousness by faith.
XII. Sanctification.
Those who have been regenerated are also sanctified, by God's word and Spirit dwelling in them. This sanctification is progressive through the supply of Divine strength, which all saints seek to obtain, pressing after a heavenly life in cordial obedience to all Christ's commands.
XIII. Perseverance of the Saints.
Those whom God hath accepted in the Beloved, and sanctified by His Spirit, will never totally nor finally fall away from the state of grace, but shall certainly persevere to the end; and though they may fall, through neglect and temptation, into sin, whereby they grieve the Spirit, impair their graces and comforts, bring reproach on the Church, and temporal judgments on themselves, yet they shall be renewed again unto repentance, and be kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation.
XIV. The Church.
The Lord Jesus is the Head of the Church, which is composed of all his true disciples, and in Him is invested supremely all power for its government. According to his commandment, Christians are to associate themselves into particular societies or churches; and to each of these churches he hath given needful authority for administering that order, discipline and worship which he hath appointed. The regular officers of a Church are Bishops, or Elders, and Deacons.
XV. Baptism.
Baptism is an ordinance of the Lord Jesus, obligatory upon every believer, wherein he is immersed in water in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, as a sign of his fellowship with the death and resurrection of Christ, of remission of sins, and of his giving himself up to God, to live and walk in newness of life. It is prerequisite to church fellowship, and to participation in the Lord's Supper.
XVI. The Lord's Supper.
The Lord's Supper is an ordinance of Jesus Christ, to be administered with the elements of bread and wine, and to be observed by his churches till the end of the world. It is in no sense a sacrifice, but is designed to commemorate his death, to confirm the faith and other graces of Christians, and to be a bond, pledge and renewal of their communion with him, and of their church fellowship.
XVII. The Lord's Day.
The Lord's Day is a Christian institution for regular observance, and should be employed in exercises of worship and spiritual devotion, both public and private, resting from worldly employments and amusements, works of necessity and mercy only excepted.
XVIII. Liberty of Conscience.
God alone is Lord of the conscience; and He hath left it free from the doctrines and commandments of men, which are in anything contrary to His word, or not contained in it. Civil magistrates being ordained of God, subjection in all lawful thing commanded by them ought to be yielded by us in the Lord, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.
XIX. The Resurrection.
The bodies of men after death return to dust, but their spirits return immediately to God -- the righteous to rest with Him; the wicked to be reserved under darkness to the judgment. At the last day, the bodies of all the dead, both just and unjust, will be raised.
XX. The Judgment.
God hath appointed a day, wherein he will judge the world by Jesus Christ, when every one shall receive according to his deeds; the wicked shall go into everlasting punishment; the righteous, into everlasting life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -
The Cambridge Declaration
Evangelical churches today are increasingly dominated by the spirit of this age rather than by the Spirit of Christ. As evangelicals, we call ourselves to repent of this sin and to recover the historic Christian faith.
In the course of history words change. In our day this has happened to the word "evangelical." In the past it served as a bond of unity between Christians from a wide diversity of church traditions. Historic evangelicalism was confessional. It embraced the essential truths of Christianity as those were defined by the great ecumenical councils of the church. In addition, evangelicals also shared a common heritage in the "solas" of the sixteenth century Protestant Reformation.
Today the light of the Reformation has been significantly dimmed. The consequence is that the word "evangelical" has become so inclusive as to have lost its meaning. We face the peril of losing the unity it has taken centuries to achieve. Because of this crisis and because of our love of Christ, his gospel and his church, we endeavor to assert anew our commitment to the central truths of the Reformation and of historic evangelicalism. These truths we affirm not because of their role in our traditions, but because we believe that they are central to the Bible.

Sola Scriptura: The Erosion of Authority
Scripture alone is the inerrant rule of the church's life, but the evangelical church today has separated Scripture from its authoritative function. In practice, the church is guided, far too often, by the culture. Therapeutic technique, marketing strategies, and the beat of the entertainment world often have far more to say about what the church wants, how it functions and what it offers, than does the Word of God. Pastors have neglected their rightful oversight of worship, including the doctrinal content of the music. As biblical authority has been abandoned in practice, as its truths have faded from Christian consciousness, and as its doctrines have lost their saliency, the church has been increasingly emptied of its integrity, moral authority and direction.
Rather than adapting Christian faith to satisfy the felt needs of consumers, we must proclaim the law as the only measure of true righteousness and the gospel as the only announcement of saving truth. Biblical truth is indispensable to the church's understanding, nurture and discipline.
Scripture must take us beyond our perceived needs to our real needs and liberate us from seeing ourselves through the seductive images, cliches, promises and priorities of mass culture. It is only in the light of God's truth that we understand ourselves aright and see God's provision for our need. The Bible, therefore, must be taught and preached in the church. Sermons must be expositions of the Bible and its teachings, not expressions of the preacher's opinions or the ideas of the age. We must settle for nothing less than what God has given.
The work of the Holy Spirit in personal experience cannot be disengaged from Scripture. The Spirit does not speak in ways that are independent of Scripture. Apart from Scripture we would never have known of God's grace in Christ. The biblical Word, rather than spiritual experience, is the test of truth.
Thesis One: Sola Scriptura
We reaffirm the inerrant Scripture to be the sole source of written divine revelation,which alone can bind the conscience. The Bible alone teaches all that is necessary for our salvation from sin and is the standard by which all Christian behavior must be measured.We deny that any creed, council or individual may bind a Christian's conscience, that the Holy Spirit speaks independently of or contrary to what is set forth in the Bible, or that personal spiritual experience can ever be a vehicle of revelation.

Solus Christus: The Erosion of Christ-Centered Faith
As evangelical faith becomes secularized, its interests have been blurred with those of the culture. The result is a loss of absolute values, permissive individualism, and a substitution of wholeness for holiness, recovery for repentance, intuition for truth, feeling for belief, chance for providence, and immediate gratification for enduring hope. Christ and his cross have moved from the center of our vision.
Thesis Two: Solus ChristusWe reaffirm that our salvation is accomplished by the mediatorial work of the historical Christ alone. His sinless life and substitutionary atonement alone are sufficient for our justification and reconciliation to the Father.We deny that the gospel is preached if Christ's substitutionary work is not declared and faith in Christ and his work is not solicited.
Sola Gratia: The Erosion of The Gospel
Unwarranted confidence in human ability is a product of fallen human nature. This false confidence now fills the evangelical world; from the self-esteem gospel, to the health and wealth gospel, from those who have transformed the gospel into a product to be sold and sinners into consumers who want to buy, to others who treat Christian faith as being true simply because it works. This silences the doctrine of justification regardless of the official commitments of our churches.
God's grace in Christ is not merely necessary but is the sole efficient cause of salvation. We confess that human beings are born spiritually dead and are incapable even of cooperating with regenerating grace.
Thesis Three: Sola Gratia We reaffirm that in salvation we are rescued from God's wrath by his grace alone. It is the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit that brings us to Christ by releasing us from our bondage to sin and raising us from spiritual death to spiritual life.We deny that salvation is in any sense a human work. Human methods, techniques or strategies by themselves cannot accomplish this transformation. Faith is not produced by our unregenerated human nature.
Sola Fide: The Erosion of The Chief Article
Justification is by grace alone through faith alone because of Christ alone. This is the article by which the church stands or falls. Today this article is often ignored, distorted or sometimes even denied by leaders, scholars and pastors who claim to be evangelical. Although fallen human nature has always recoiled from recognizing its need for Christ's imputed righteousness, modernity greatly fuels the fires of this discontent with the biblical Gospel. We have allowed this discontent to dictate the nature of our ministry and what it is we are preaching.
Many in the church growth movement believe that sociological understanding of those in the pew is as important to the success of the gospel as is the biblical truth which is proclaimed. As a result, theological convictions are frequently divorced from the work of the ministry. The marketing orientation in many churches takes this even further, erasing the distinction between the biblical Word and the world, robbing Christ's cross of its offense, and reducing Christian faith to the principles and methods which bring success to secular corporations.
While the theology of the cross may be believed, these movements are actually emptying it of its meaning. There is no gospel except that of Christ's substitution in our place whereby God imputed to him our sin and imputed to us his righteousness. Because he bore our judgment, we now walk in his grace as those who are forever pardoned, accepted and adopted as God's children. There is no basis for our acceptance before God except in Christ's saving work, not in our patriotism, churchly devotion or moral decency. The gospel declares what God has done for us in Christ. It is not about what we can do to reach him.
Thesis Four: Sola Fide We reaffirm that justification is by grace alone through faith alone because of Christ alone. In justification Christ's righteousness is imputed to us as the only possible satisfaction of God's perfect justice.We deny that justification rests on any merit to be found in us, or upon the grounds of an infusion of Christ's righteousness in us, or that an institution claiming to be a church that denies or condemns sola fide can be recognized as a legitimate church.
Soli Deo Gloria: The Erosion of God-Centered Worship
Wherever in the church biblical authority has been lost, Christ has been displaced, the gospel has been distorted, or faith has been perverted, it has always been for one reason: our interests have displaced God's and we are doing his work in our way. The loss of God's centrality in the life of today's church is common and lamentable. It is this loss that allows us to transform worship into entertainment, gospel preaching into marketing, believing into technique, being good into feeling good about ourselves, and faithfulness into being successful. As a result, God, Christ and the Bible have come to mean too little to us and rest too inconsequentially upon us.
God does not exist to satisfy human ambitions, cravings, the appetite for consumption, or our own private spiritual interests. We must focus on God in our worship, rather than the satisfaction of our personal needs. God is sovereign in worship; we are not. Our concern must be for God's kingdom, not our own empires, popularity or success.
Thesis Five: Soli Deo Gloria We reaffirm that because salvation is of God and has been accomplished by God, it is for God's glory and that we must glorify him always. We must live our entire lives before the face of God, under the authority of God and for his glory alone.We deny that we can properly glorify God if our worship is confused with entertainment, if we neglect either Law or Gospel in our preaching, or if self-improvement, self-esteem or self-fulfillment are allowed to become alternatives to the gospel.

A Call To Repentance & Reformation
The faithfulness of the evangelical church in the past contrasts sharply with its unfaithfulness in the present. Earlier in this century, evangelical churches sustained a remarkable missionary endeavor, and built many religious institutions to serve the cause of biblical truth and Christ's kingdom. That was a time when Christian behavior and expectations were markedly different from those in the culture. Today they often are not. The evangelical world today is losing its biblical fidelity, moral compass and missionary zeal.
We repent of our worldliness. We have been influenced by the "gospels" of our secular culture, which are no gospels. We have weakened the church by our own lack of serious repentance, our blindness to the sins in ourselves which we see so clearly in others, and our inexcusable failure to adequately tell others about God's saving work in Jesus Christ.
We also earnestly call back erring professing evangelicals who have deviated from God's Word in the matters discussed in this Declaration. This includes those who declare that there is hope of eternal life apart from explicit faith in Jesus Christ, who claim that those who reject Christ in this life will be annihilated rather than endure the just judgment of God through eternal suffering, or who claim that evangelicals and Roman Catholics are one in Jesus Christ even where the biblical doctrine of justification is not believed.
The Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals asks all Christians to give consideration to implementing this Declaration in the church's worship, ministry, policies, life and evangelism.
For Christ's sake. Amen.
Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals Executive Council (1996)
Dr. John ArmstrongThe Rev. Alistair BeggDr. James M. BoiceDr. W. Robert GodfreyDr. John D. HannahDr. Michael S. HortonMrs. Rosemary JensenDr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr.Dr. Robert M. NorrisDr. R.C. SproulDr. Gene Edward VeithDr. David WellsDr. Luder WhitlockDr. J.A.O. Preus, III

and in conclusion...

this i think will make the fourth post about why i am in seminary. i was picturing havng this grand ending with a really profound paragraph or two. but now that i have given the back story of how got where i am... thats all there is to say... where i am..
i don't have all of the answers. i can think of 100 other people that i know who are better public speakers, many more who are smarter and better thinkers. being in seminary doesn't magically grant you a road map and manual of how to be an effective communicator of the gospel. all i know is that god has placed in me a desire to spread to others what he has been teaching me about himself and his word. i don't have a gimmick, no dynamic personality to keep " 'em coming back for more". i just have the gospel. and i want to share it.
i dont really have an angle, but if i did, it would be that i want to be used to speak to those who are already in church, and have grown up in church like i have. i want to be used by the lord to teach people how to study and apply the word, not just read it and hear it. to discover the wonderful and glorious truths that apply to us as believers everyday. i long to share with people of how the gospel should penetrate every aspect of our life, and that what we do wrong, a lot of times, is compartmentalize our lives to the point where we actually think there are things in our lives that are religiously "neutral", or have nothing to do with our faith.
to share with people the stunning glory of our lord, the paralyzing holy fear of him, and the precious delight of obedience to him, that is what i want to spend my life doing. to teach doctrine and theology and church history in ways that are *not* watered down, but are communicated so that our churches will be filled with people who know exactly what they believe, and why they believe it.
i grow more and more aware every day of my inadequacy for any of this. if the lord uses me for anything besides fertilizer, it will be another act of grace in a lifetime of unmerited favor. Psalm 127 :1,2 says unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. it is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
unless the lord has called me into ministry, i will fail. his word will not return void, but if i place myself into a ministry position that he did not place me in, i will be in disobedience, and any good coming from that will be an act of grace.

i long to be obedient. and i feel that god has placed in me these desires. so that is why i am in seminary.

-stephen

part III

in the spring of 2003, after turning down an offer to stay on full time as youth and music minister at the church where i was serving, college graduation came (finally) and went. for the first time in seven years, i was facing a summer that would end without my being in the city of martin. and more importantly, for the first time in twenty years, i would not be going to school in the fall.
i had my life planned out at this point, at least week to week. i went back and worked at summer camp for the second year (which further fueled my desire to grow in my knowledge of just what it is that i believe) and after that, moved to the nashville area. i was in a band that over the past year or so had gotten some decent exposure, and we felt pretty good about our chances. the plan was for us to migrate to the nashville area, have a day job (or two), and gig on nights and weekends. this plan started to settle and even out and we were on our way to see what lay ahead for us.
in october, during the last song of a pretty successful show, my back went out again. i remember the feeling like it was yesterday. a searing hot, sharp pain, something akin to someone stabbing me in the small of my back paralyzed me with pain. after being helped off of the stage and into the car, i was on my way back to andrew and haley's house thinking "not again".
two days later i was back in the room where i grew up at my parents house. at first i was certain that i would be back in nashville in a few days. but days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. doctor visits, x-rays, mri's, and physical therapy filled my days that fall. i remember sitting on the edge of my bed, strumming my guitar wondering what i had done to deserve this punishment.
its funny how short sighted we are, or at least i am. and also how short our memory is. in the years since my back surgery in 1999, i had told the story over and over of how the lord had to break my back to get me to slow down and pay attention, to seek him and his will. well, here i was again, with back problems in the same house where it all happened the first time, and i have to be honest and say, at the time, it never occured to me that this might be a similar circumstance.
as i would wake up everyday, faced with hours of absolutely nothing to do, i turned to the handful of books i had grabbed to bring with me for my "brief" recovery period. as i read the bible, john piper, j.i. packer, michael s. horton, martin luther, and others, i found my heart at times nearly shouting "yes!" as they wrote of the glory of god and our need to not only be aware of it, but to live in pursuit of knowing it.
late night phone conversations, especially with my friend john nelson, began to turn into vague scenarios and "what if.." questions. without realizing it, i was actually contemplating going to seminary. i had been brought to a place where i was daily realizing my need to be taught how to read the scriptures, and my hunger for knowledge and application of doctrine and the things to be learned from theology and church history had grown to insatiable heights. so i moved to louisville and started at southern seminary working towards a masters of arts degree in theological studies. "just the basics" i told myself. enough to get me started so i can continue to learn on my own.
ebeneezer still had promise and exciting opportunities were coming up, one of which, being an unbelievable opportunity for me to play at a derek webb concert as the opening act, which in turn, led to a second opportunity to do the same.
going back to school was simply for my own edification. "just th ebasics", then i would see what happened.

well, almost two years later. a lot has happened. i met and married my best friend for one. and through christi and the advice and encouragement of other close friends, the lord has continued working in me, changing my heart and desires.
after the second time i opened for derek, he extended an invitation to open for him anytime he was playing near where i would be. i still have his phone number in my cell phone. i havent had the desire to call him and take him up on his offer once. i still play music, not too much, but it has taken a back seat. my priorities have switched, as have my passions. no longer do i hope to write and sing original lyrics that affect the people who hear them, i want to be used as a messenger of words that are thousands of years old....

to be continued..
-stephen

"everything" part II

when i returned to school in february of 1999, i suddenly found myself being asked to lead the weekly worship service at the b.s.u. (b.c.m.) at school. at the time, i knew about 4 or 5 chords on guitar, but luckily, they happened to be the only 4 or 5 chords i needed to play most of the songs in the worship repertoire of those days. as i began leading worship at that service, i devoted myself to reading the bible and any other material on worship that i could. i had little discernment at the time, but thankfully, the lord guarded me from straying too far into any extra-biblical philosophies or ideas on worship.
over the course of the next 4 years (yes, after my junior year, i had four more years of college... it happens when you change your major three times) my responsibilities and commitments in the areas of worship grew considerably. i was being asked to lead at more events, weekend retreats, bible studies, conferences and various other things. i served on staff at two different "first baptist churches" in missouri and in kentucky. it was during these times that i had taken on another aspect of ministry- teaching.
at the two churches were i served on staff, i was the music minister and the youth minister. having grown up with a father who was both a music and youth minister, this wasnt a new concept by any stretch. the music aspect was comfortable for me. after all, i was a music major whose emphasis was voice and had taken several music education and choral conducting classes. i felt sufficiently prepared to lead music during the services and direct choirs. also, i had the added benefit of being able to carry over the experience of leading worship on what was becoming a near daily basis.
what i wasn't prepared for was the shock of biblical illiteracy and spiritual malnourishment in the teenagers in the student ministries i inherited. i found myself weekly driving home from church frustrated, deeply troubled, and burdened that there were kids who came to church every day of their lives and who couldnt even explain what makes a person a christian.
choir members who couldn't sing, worship band drummers who couldnt keep a beat, and leading worship for weekend camps that demanded i play "the happy song" one million times i could handle. but i felt handcuffed when faced with trying to have a bible study with teenagers who didn't even bring their bibles to church, much less know or care what was in it.
it was in the midst of these times when the lord started to grow me personally. i began to sense the hypocrisy of my recognizing the lack of my students bible knowledge while all the while knowing that the only reason i knew more was because i was older and had heard it more often. it was because of no disciplined study of my own that i could beat them in a "bible bowl" or that i knew more memory verses or the books of the bible. i wasn't superior. i was older.
i began to study... yes study the bible for the first time in my life. not to just search through the scriptures untill i found what i was looking for, but to take the word of god and try to understand what it meant.
god, being able to choose whatever means he deems appropriate, threw a bombshell the size of wyoming in my lap in the fall of 2001. being a fan of the music of caedmons call and then member derek webb, i frequented their respective web sites to learn information about songs and where they would be playing next. it was at this point that i began to frequent their message boards, where topics of converstaion were moderated and segmented into topical themes. i found myself at derek's theology forum quite a bit. since god had piqued my interest in such matters, i figured their would be good conversation where i could learn a few terms and bible stories i may not have already known. what i wasn't prepared for, was to have my spiritual foundations pulled from under my feet and dangled in front of me like a second rate self portrait.
i was introduced to historical figures, doctrines, terms, and concepts that i never knew existed. being the stubborn person that i am, i sat out with my bible in hand to prove wrong the people who dared to suggest that i didn't have the grasp of my world that i thought i did.
again, another painful process had started, and i found myself actually having an internal struggle that i absolutely could not ignore. on the one hand, over the past couple of years, i had started to claim my faith as my own and felt like i was progressing beyond the elementary stages of the faith. but on the other hand, it was possible that i was a mere infant in the faith who was just beginning to realize the vastness of what there was to know, and what i should have known all along. there was a struggle of pride. i do not like to admit that i could ever be wrong. even partially. but laying before me was the possibility that not only had i sat out on a mission to prove something worng that was true, but i would have to humble myself and step back and say, " i don't know near as much as people think i do, and worse, as *i* think i do."
now don't get me wrong. what i was struggling with wasn't my salvation. i had already been there and passed that obstacle. but my understanding of who god is, and who i am in light of that was due for a drastic overhaul.
as i began to study more intensley, the lord allowed me to search and study with an open heart, and an open but discerning mind. he placed people around me to keep me grounded and to keep me from going completely off of the deep end when i would come to some stunning conclusions and try to push them on everyone, only to realize that those conclusions weren't all of the way developed... and sometimes... wrong. during these times i learned the importance and priceless truth of the total authority and inerrancy of scripture. without this, it would be easy to follow any concept or idea into its own independent conclusions, no matter what scripture siad about the matter. as i taught students at church, and was given opportunities to speak at bible studies and worship services, i was constantly aware of the percieved needs of a group of christians, and actual needs. what was assumed to be elementary and unimportant was in a lot of cases completely stripped of its rightful place of importance and needed to be brought back to the forefront and learned fully and correctly.
in essence, we had placed the gospel on the shelf of past priorities in order to make room for self awareness/improvement methods, relationship/lifestyle philosophies, and other "relevant" discussions. no one was saying that the gospel wasn't important. but what we were saying was " i have heard the gosple and responded. the lost need the gospel. i need the next step".
i was just starting to awaken to the fact that the gospel is never "over" we never fully get it. we don't progress to a stage where we don't need to hear it as much. it is never taught enough, it can't be known fully enough.

in the gospel, i was realizing, is the fullness of everything.

to be continued...

here goes everything...

i wrote in an earlier post that i would write more about why i am in seminary at a later time, and well.. its officially "later".
i don't really know how to keep this "short", so bare with me.

like most people, i was born at an early age. my parents were(are) both christians and very active in ministry. my dad, whose father and maternal grandfather had both been pastors, had done some supply pastoring and from the time i was born (1978) until last year, had always been the youth and/or music minister at whatever church we were attending at the time. in addition to this, my parents were the directors of the baptist student union (now "baptist collegiate ministry) at the community college in the town where i grew up. [in 2003, dad took the position as campus minster again at the dyersburg state b.c.m.] so my whole childhood was surrounded by teenagers and college age people that my parents were ministering to. there were also endless hours at church for choir rehearsals, youth activities, and even cleaning the church bathrooms. i was at church every sunday and wednesday, lots of saturdays, and at some time or another, every day of the week. lots of people say "i grew up in church". i am more literal than most when i say it.
The jargon and lingo of the church was second nature to me growing up in the enviroment that i did. for the most part, i would say that i enjoyed being in church so much growing up. i always had close friends at church, and i more or less always enjoyed, if not looked forward to most activities i was involved in. i didnt have any *bad* church experiences, no "prodigal preachers kid" moments where i denounced the faith or refused to participate.
when i was ten years old, i went to church camp for a week in lyndon tennessee. one of those nights, after a sermon that i don't remember, i was struck with the fact that a previous "trip down the aisle" and its consequent "baptism" wasn't an actual conversion. i realized that i was a sinner whose only hope of salvation was through jesus christ, and i had never come to a place where i placed my faith in him for the forgiveness of my sins and my eternal security. so, after talking to a counselor about it, i prayed a prayer asking jesus to be my savior.
at ten years old, i proffessed christ as my savior and lord.
over the course of the next few years, i lived the average life of any "church kid" my age. i tried to pay more attention during church, and was fully aware that matters pertaining to the christian life really did matter. i wouldnt say that i was growing by leaps or even bounds. i was just...aware.
my teenage years brought a whole new set of experiences and perspectives into my life. somehow my good intentions and simple knowledge of "church facts" developed into a much more vague world view of "christians are, at the core good people despite their sometimes bad decisions(after all, if they walked an aisle, signed a card , or prayed a prayer.. they're forgiven)", and that non christians could still be good people, they just needed to go to church and believe in jesus to go to heaven. i would readily confess that jesus was the only way to heaven, and that i, as a christian, should do my best "not to mess up".
but that was about the extent of it. when i did "mess up", i knew that those actions could and would lead to varying degrees of circumstances and consequences. if i am honest, i would have to say that it was fear of those circumstances that botherd me the most- moreso than my failure to "be good", much less having sinned against the lord. despite all of this, from the casual observer, i was a "good kid" that was well liked and thought well of by most everyone that i was aware of.
this trend carried into the beginning of my college years. although i included in my identity that i was a christian , i still lived a life that was marked more with compromise and justifying my actions than any attempt to grow in the faith. in random spurts i would be "consistant" in prayer and reading the bible, just enough to remember that these things were things i was "supposed to do." but those times were usually short lived and when whatever trials were lifted, so did the "this time i mean it" resolve.
near the end of my freshman year and into my sophomore year,the lord intervened in a mighty way by placing certain people in my life, that through the course of the next two years would greatly alter my life, both directly and indirectly. the lord surrounded me with people that i wanted to be friends with, wanted to be accepted by, and who were open, and even excited about living a life that not only pleased god, but that by pleasing him brought them satisfaction- and even enjoyment. for the first time in my life, the walls that had compartmentalized my life began to fracture. no longer was christ a segment of my identity, he began to trickle in to areas of my life that had previously been considered neutral, or even "not religious." it was a slow process, and sometimes a painful one, but it was a process that was progressing. no longer was i able to look at my life in evaluation and see any stagnant areas as acceptable. i knew i needed to grow. i wasnt sure how, or even what growth would look like, but i knew that i couldnt stay the same.
my junior year, i encountered a whole new universe that i never knew existed. i went to a passion conference in fort. worth texas where i saw 12,000 other people my age completely give all of their energies into worshiping and thinking on the lord. for the first time in my life i heard teaching that boldly proclaimed that god's chief concern was his glory, not my comfort. it was also at this time that i had back surgery, which left me unable to do anything, but lay in bed for almost two months to look at the first 21 years of my life and where it had been, where it was, and where it was going....
[to be continued]
grace and peace,
-stephen

cliche song lyrics

June 17th, 2005

i wonder how many songs have the words “life’s a journey, not a destination” in them. i know aerosmith has it in “amazing”, i know that there are more.anyway, its almost 3pm and i am still in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. i quit my job last week, and i have become “that guy” in one week’s time.actually, for some reason, i have been dealing with a rather persistant bout of insomnia. i was having it over a week ago, then my wife christi and i went to tennessee (i.e. god’s country) to see my folks, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. i dont know if it was being “home” in my old room or what, but for whatever reason, i slept fine.upon arriving back to louisville, christi left monday morning to go to michigan with her sisters and mom, and the insomnia returned.so what this basically means is i have been awake untill around 4 am four nights in a row, and sleep for a few hrs. get up, and never feel like i slept.
this is suddenly turning into nothing… sorry.
my still being in pajamas reminded me of when my back went out again in the fall of 2003. i had surgery in 1999, and after recovering from that, i had had relativley few problems with it other than the occasional soreness and rare days when i couldnt move well.in 2003, i was living right outside of nashville with my friends -andrew (one of my best friends), his wife haley(who was about 7 months pregnant), and their 1 yr. old son gibson. andrew and i were gigging with our band, ebeneezer , and i was working a couple of part time jobs lifeguarding and waiting tables. it was, at the time, our small part of “living the dream” i suppose.

that made me laugh just typing it. so cliche', but it was real.

anyway, one night at a show, during the last song, my back just completely locked up and a searing hot pain shot through my entire body. i had to be helped off the stage and into the car. i was 25 years old, a college graduate, and i had to go back and live with my parents.for almost three months, i was back in the room i grew up in. the same posters were on the walls. michael jordan and the chicago bulls, st. louis cardinals, kurt cobain and nirvana. it was like a 80’s/90’s time capsule.between the x-rays, m.r.i.’s, trips to physical therapy, and all of the drugs i was on, it completely threw my system out of whack. i would be up a 5 a.m. reading notes i had passed with friends in ninth grade, freaking out that i could almost “smell” the time and place when they were new.
i wore pajamas a lot then too.
upon first having to move back in with my family, i was anxious to get better and get back to nashville. there were gigs to play, recordings to do, and all of those type things. it wasn’t at all that i didnt like seeing my family. it was the exact opposite. i started college in the fall of 1996, and rarely came home except for summers. after 2000, i didn’t come home for summers anymore. so it was refreshing, if not theraputic and healing to be back “home”.slowly, as i was reading through the bible and other books i had brought with me on church history and doctrine, and talking with friends, i realized that my desires had completely changed, and i had either been ignoring them, or just didnt realize it.so the day after christmas 2003 i moved to louisville kentucky to start seminary. theology, doctrine, and church history had become a hobby over the past few years, but suddenly i had realized that there was a purpose to the few years prior of investigating, probing, reading into these things, to prepare me for the next jumping off point of my life. so i moved to louisville.
in the year and a half since then, i have changed apts. 3 times, jobs twice, gotten married, and changed my major. after years of wondering what it would be like to be a “real” musician, i was able to open for derek webb… twice, with an open invitation to do it again. i haven’t seen him since that last show. and i haven’t played with my band since last october. i have started looking for and recieving opportunities to teach/ preach, and most of my “spare” time is spent reading systematic theologies and commentaries. there have been times when i have gone up to a month without touching my guitar.
and i love my life.
when my back went out in october of 2003, i was thinking, “ill be fine, i just need to rest and ill be back. this wont change a thing.”

“life’s a journey…”
-stephen